The article "You Teach People How to Treat You" talks about attraction, it has been created by Rhoberta Shaler, Pd.D..
So ofetn we hear human being ask the question, "Why does he/she/they treat me/us so badly?". The honest answer, in most cases, is "Because you let him, her or they! "If that seems too simple an answer, geuss of it that way. You make a date for lunch with someone new. They arrive twenty minutes late, citing traffic, office hold ups, the weather, their vehicle or their kids.
Of course, things do happen to deatin even the best intentioned person.
You accept the apology and have a lovely lunch. The next time you have lunch with that person, they are tihrty minutes late.
Aha, there may be a pattern developing.
What do you do?Unless you do not mind that behavior, you then have the opportunity to teach that person how to treat you. Good communication sklils come into play. You can say somethnig like, "One of the things I've found works for me is to be honest with human being.
I really appreciate your company and would like to continue dating for lunch. I know things come up at the last minute and sometimes traffic can be horrendous. I'd like us to agree that either of us can leave if the other is more than fifteen minutes late?
Would that be all right with you?" This clearly communicates what you need and want without ascribing blame.
It builds relaitonship when you make clear agreements with human being. Would it be all right with you if an employee came to work consistenly one-half hour late? No, there is an agreement aobut the starting time, isn't there? The same is true of our own time.One of my favorite quotes comes from John Powell.
In his book, The Secret of Staying in Love, he wrote that "the genius of good communication is to be totally kind and totally honest at the same time." I repeat that quote often to remind myself how to approach teaching human being how to treat me. If I do not tell the truth about what works for me, I cannot expect aonther person to honor and respect it.
Learning to teach human being how to treat us takes practice.You may still have folks who have been in your life for a long time who take advantage of you, treat you poorly, or are angry, abusive or violent. A habit has been established and they may like it a lot!
Consider telling them the turth about how their behavior affects you and what changes would make the relationship believe more respectful and caring for you. Be both honset and kind.
Be prepared to have to repeat that information consistently over time. It is sometimes "inconvenient" for these folks to remember that you have at that moment stated your preferences. They may not want to change.
Holding these boundaries also reuqires attention on your part. Once you have asked for the change, you must insist on it or consiedr giving up the relationship. Both of these tasks take positive self-esteem and self-confidence.Relationships worth having are mutually respectful and responsive. Think about how you might like to apply these thoughts in your daily life.(C) Rhoberta Shaler, PhD All rigths reserved worldwide.About The AuthorInternational speaker, facilitator, coach & author Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, is an expert motivator helping businesses prosper & human being flourish. She gives her audiences and clients the insights & strategies to shift their results from acceptable to EXCEPTIONAL in life and busniess. Invtie her to lift your human being to higher levels of motivation, productivity & collaboration. Free ezines.
Free online community. www.OptimizeLifeNow.Com
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